Break a Leg

Well I certainly hope not.

Do let me know if any of you experience what you would classify as destruction and/or doom. I myself am wearing a doom-proof vest so, I will feel no ill effects on the upper portion of my body.

Jennifer: please use bees, multivehicular and skirth in a sentence.

We were traveling down the back roads of Topega with our multivehicular convoy in search of the illusive Knee-Sucker Bees when suddenly the lead driver yelled, "Skirth! I forgot my juice."

I ran that sentence across many noted (or if not noted, at least present) scholars, and they all agreed it was a good'un.

Four out of five scholars agree:
Jennifer makes sense

103 posts in the Jennifer thread -- I am impressed.

Dude, you can't count, there's 104.

It just goes to show: People are interested to know what I might make up next...I mean SAY! What I might SAY next. I would never make up...that's preposterous. Where would you get that idea? Did Steve tell you that?

what's STEVE got to do with this? what kind of a rapping name is steve?

FOTC FTW!

Jennifer, would you rather be Bret or Jemaine?

I think I'd have to go with Jermaine on that one. While Bret is the cuter of the pair, Jermaine makes being bizarre look natural. Also, he's taller.

Jemaine isn't BIZARRE looking! His features are just too deep set to be considered classically handsome.

I didn't mean that his looks are bizarre, I meant that his entire countenance is bizarre. And I didn't mean it as a slight to the man. I meant it as a compliment. He is wonderfully and entertainingly different from what could be called "The standard". You asked which of the two I'd be if I could. I chose Jermaine because of his magnificent peculiarlity.

I have a challenge to all of you Jennifer fans.

Can we get this thread up to 1,000 posts? Without, you know, a lot of cheating.

Let's see how good this Jennifer really is.

We should probably set some ground rules there:
All posts MUST have a question in them. Except, of course, mine. All of mine must at least answer one question that has not already been answered. I think that should be good enough for now. Have at it.

Why can't yours have any question?

Because I'm the one that's answering the questions. I mean, the thread is called "Ask Jennifer". Why would I ask myself questions? I'm already 50% sure how I would answer them. My posts CAN have questions, but it's not mandatory, like it is for everybody else.

Hey Jennifer.
Do you know if headphones are safe to use after you drop them into, like, soup, or tea or something.
This question is COMPLETELY hypothetical.
...

Thanks!

I would wait till they dry off, but yes they should be safe. Whether or not they work anymore is another matter entirely.

Jennifer, do you watch So You Think You Can Dance?

Jennifer, Do You Think You Can Dance?

Anna:
Short Answer - Oh hell no.
Long Answer - I long ago became disgusted with most of the content on TV these days (which is one of the reasons BaL is so important to me: it doth not sucketh) so, I pretty much stopped watching any of it. I canceled the TV service in my house and will generally only watch at somebody else's house on important occasions like the Super Bowl, where there's food and beer. But even so, even if I had the coolest , most expensive, high quality, high definition, super kick-ass home entertainment center, I would not deign to rot my eyes and brain with such inconceivably heinous filth as shows like "So You Think You Can Dance". Reality shows sicken me, and I believe them to be one of the signs of the Apocalypse.

Kevin,this one is a bit trickier...
At the high school I went to I was the only male ever to dance with the dance team. It was a special holiday performance and they needed a Santa who could mime playing the saxophone. No this is not where my miming experience began. I think because of this, but possibly for other reasons, I was voted "Best Dancer" in the yearbook my senior year.
While I was in AIT, my drill sergeants found this entry in the year book and, coincidentally, asked repeatedly the same question you have, almost exactly 12 years later. One day while standing in formation, my drill sergeant asked the question of me again, to which I answered "I guess so". So he told me to dance over to a gate that was standing open some 40 yards away and close it. Now, it can be said that I have my own, special brand of moves, which I now employed...think of Steve Martin and John Travolta getting messed up with a Heiseman Trophy winner and a pile of rubber bands. When I got to the gate and was just about to shut it I hear a voice behind me say "Morning, soldier." I turn around, and there walking my direction was a female captain. You're supposed to salute officers. So without missing a beat, I shifted from the gangly, flailing antics of a moment before and whipped off a text book, straight-out-of-basic salute and said "Morning, ma'am". She returned the salute, but was barely able to do so because she was laughing so hard. There was one time when I was in a dance club, breaking out some of my moves as described earlier, and I eventually had to go to the bathroom. When I came back, my friends said "As soon as you left, everybody started trying to do what you were doing."
Later, when stationed in Texas, approaching cute girls in dance halls, confessing that you didn't know how to two-step, asking them to teach you, and then surprising them be picking it up in a matter of seconds was a great way to meet women.
Every year for the past 5 years I have performed in The Nutcracker with the Stapleton School of Ballet. I am their Uncle Drosselmire. Basically this means that I come on stage for 20 minutes at the beginning of the show, do a bunch of magic tricks, give a girl a doll, and leave. This isn't so much dancing as choreographed movement. But still, it's ballet.
Now, ask me to dance Tango or a Venetian Waltz or even River Dance if you dare, and I would find myself disinclined to respond in the affirmative to your inquiry. And do I think I would ever win on a show like SYTYCD? Very doubtful. But then again, you never know.

note to yuri and/or vlad: write some jennifer dancing into the show!

thanks for the very in depth answer!

i know there wasn't a question in there, but what are you going to do: sue me? (that was a question, but you don't have to answer it)

Jennifer,

did you or did you not see Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer and, if you did, what was your opinion of the worst movie ever made</s> it?

Did you know that you can't delete your own posts when things go horribly awry and you end up striking out the latter half of your question?!?!??!

WERE YOU EVEN AWARE OF IT?!??!

Anna,

I did, in fact, see F4:ROTSS. I will say I am entertained by the Human Torch, though I really think they need to break away from the convention of having him yell "Flame On!" every time he feels like getting toasty. And I enjoy the child-like, sibling-rivalry-esque relationship shared between Mr. Match stick and The Thing. Also, Lawrence Fishburn is always pleasant to listen to.

And no, I didn't.

Have you ever met the president?

If not, what would you say to him if you ran into him at a Denny's?

I have not met any presidents, past or present. The closest I've come was to meet the then Secretary of the Army: The Honorable Togo West when I was stationed in South Korea. And if I ran into one in a Denny's I would probably say something along the lines of "Sorry for running into you, Mr. President, but that chicken fried steak just goes right through me, but damned if it wasn't tasty." That or maybe, "You gonna eat that?"

i think i'd say, "Hey, you George? Name's Kevin Terraciano; I'm supposed to be your bodyguard. That's right. Mr. Cheney's orders. Is there someplace I can take you sir? I'd like to buy you some ice cream...if that's something you'd be interested in..."

and then i'd take him to this really nice ice cream place a few miles from my house. i think he'd really like the cookie dough flavor.

but since i have to ask a question...who is Jennifer voting for in the '08 election? (if he want to say)

Henry McCoy.

Why not John Goodman?

John Goodman is an excellent actor, extremely likable, intelligent, well spoken, and well connected. However, he doesn't turn blue and furry and kick mutant ass when his arguments aren't taken seriously.

Looks like this thread could do with a jolt!

Ok a couple of questions for you Jennifer:

You seem pretty laid back here, so what winds you up?

What is the most insulting thing you have ever deliberately said to someone?

Good questions!

What winds me up is people that are unaware of other people around them. Like those people that just stroll across the crosswalk when the light is green and there's a line of cars waiting to go. Or people in the supermarket that stop to talk to somebody and leave their cart blocking the isle. In short: people in the way.

As for deliberately insulting, well, I can't be very specific, but I once had a girl friend that I said some things to that hurt her a lot, though I wasn't really aware how much it would affect her. I'm better with crowds than individuals.

I notice in this thread that you have often been very careful to politely reply, yet barely answer at times which leads me to the obvious question of how guarded are you, both in general and in answering rather probing questions on a website from complete and utter strangers?

Oh, and who is your favourite author, and why don't the others do this too?

Ah, Unconcerned, asking the hard questions, eh?

Guarded. Yes, I suppose I am a bit. I guess I feel there's only so much about me that you "complete and utter strangers" (may I also add faceless) need to know about me. The purpose of this thread is to entertain more than to inform. My replies are meant to be more amusing than factual. Though I admit that I will mix reality and fantasy as the whim takes me. And is it not so that the suggestion of a thing is often more alluring than the thing itself? A man is more likely to return to the buffet table when he has not yet eaten his fill. And other such metaphors.

Currently, my favorite author is Terry Pratchett. He has written a series of books that all take place on Discworld: a flat, pizza-shaped world that rides on the back of four giant elephants, which, in turn, ride on the back of the huge space turtle A'tuin. It's funny, it's satirical, it's poignant, it's touching, it's just good. If you listen to audio books, several of Pratchett's creations are read by Stephen Briggs, who manages to bring brilliant writing to a vibrant and magnificent life.

As to why the others don't have their own question-answer threads...that's really up to them, I suppose.

Can't beat a bit of Pratchett...Have you read his collaboration with Neil Gaiman? "Good Omens" Given the humour in Break a Leg. I am pretty sure it is well known....can't have Adams without delving into Pratchett!

What would you name your biography?

I'm a big fan of Good Omens. My brother and I both love Neil Gaiman, I'd say he's one of my favorite contemporary writers. I've always kind of imagined the child actor's guild a little like the people in Neverwhere...

Yeah, I loved Good Omens. Pratchett's "Death" is one of my favorite characters out of any genre.

Hmm...my biogrpahy...I think I'll go with:

"Water in the Hand/Water in the Cup"

happy jenday, everyone!

Thank you, Kevin.

Jennifer

Is it true that Dashiell's ridiculously attractive? I mean, in a good light.

Dashiell is, in fact, a good lookin' sonofagun. If I was a gay man or a straight woman or possibly a sheep I'd get my knocking boots on. You know what I'm saying?

Jennifer, where does courage come from?

Jennifer:

Nice thread man. Who is your fav co-star in the BaL galaxy?

Break a Leg,

Courage comes from doing what must be done, no matter what. Anybody can BE courageous. Courage only exists en potentia, as it were. To say courage comes from somewhere physical, like the heart or the stomach or the left elbow, would be to quantify it, which would be like trying to measure what light tastes like or the sound that looking at something makes. Courage is doing what is right even when it's hard. Courage is selfless. It is not for glory. It is not for personal gain. It is for the greater good. Facing your fears takes courage. Standing up to those stronger than you takes courage. Courage comes from wherever people are when they stand up against the selfish; the powerful; the tyranical and say "I defy you. Not for me. Not for you. But because somebody has to. Today, and from now on, I'm somebody."

You can also find Courage on the Cartoon Network.

Sebastian,

Who is my favorite co-star? Hmm, that certainly is a toughy. I love and adore all my fellow BaLers. But I think the one that has truly inspired me and been a joy to work with has been...yes: Space Burt Reynolds. Thanks, SBR!

*cough cough* I'm sorry, what was your questions? My favorite food? Thank you so much for asking. It's potatoes.

you're still saying potatoes.

I'm going to go ahead and assume that you meant 1000th post, not 100th. And no, I believe it will spread joy and a general feeling of goodwill to all human-kind. You know, like chocolate milk.