Break a Leg

i noticed on the blackboard it says "script changes #42" and i thought that could be a reference.

also, it says to do: amber on the blackboard and on the whiteboard in the surveillance vehicle.

Good eye, Kevin. On both accounts!

The whiteboard in the surveillance vehicle has some other fun stuff written on it -- not sure if you can tell in those scenes, though.

jennifer: will you make it out of the sewers alive? if not, how are you posting here?

Kevin, you should know better than to ask for spoilers. Shame on you. SHAME!

On a side note, the years CAG has spent in the sewers have not been idle. They've got a quite elaborate communications network and security system. They've developed a wide variety of technical skills that let them tap into phone and cable lines, allowing them access to phones, cable, and internet. In fact...they could be watching me type this right now...

whoops, i didn't even realize that i asked for spoilers. i think i was so worked up about your kidnapping that i didn't know what i was saying!

I understand what trying times these are. There's a lot going on and it sometimes gets a bit overwhelming. And it is in my artistic nature to understand, or at least be aware of, the frailties of man. I could never berate another for an intrinsic sense of curisity. Remember: there is no such thing as a wrong question. It's usually the timing of the question that does the most damage.

Jennifer, where's Waldo?

Nick, there are many ways to answer the question:

1. Emotionally: In our hearts and mind.

2. Spatially: Nowhere. In a purely physical sense, any image of Waldo you might find in a book is only a two-dimensional representation of the concept of Waldo, which takes up no space at all. It's the paper he's printed on that takes up the space.

3. Theoretically: Everywhere. The laws of probability dictate that if a thing exists, it must exist somewhere. If a thing must exist somewhere, it could exist anywhere. If a think could exist anywhere, then it could exist everywhere.

4. Theatrically: He's right behind you! Look out!

5. Sophomorically: Poopin'

6. Vaguely: Over there somewhere.

7. Realistically: In the books from artist Martin Handford, published by Walker Books and Candlewick Press.

Okay, did you have to look up number 7, or do you know these things off-hand?

Of course I looked it up. I'm an artist, not a freak show.

What's the difference...? :)

If you have to ask, you'll never know.

i hope you aren't the mole, jennifer, because that was too awesome to come from a traitor...

Kevin,

You're skating in spoiler land. What did I just tell Nick?

that was not spoiler land. that was speculation land. when amber said that the mole was the last person you would expect, i first thought it was jen...nifer john bradly. now i have a new theory.

i'm just saying that i HOPE the traitor isn't you. you don't have to add anything to that.

Very well then.

JENNIFER!!!

Yes?

Jennifer, what's your favourite movie?

Hmm...so many to choose from...I think I'm gonna have to go with The Princess Bride.

Jennifer, how does it feel to have 70 posts in your message thread?

I ask that because I'm #70.

Oh, also, do you think we can we get this bad boy to #100 posts?

Oh, and finally, why did God make turkeys so dumb? Do you know they'll hold up their head when it rains to drink the water, and then inevitably drown themselves? Does that seem like an afterthought? Was that an off-day for him?

Just curious.

Thank you.

Dearest Break A Leg,

A) It feels fantastic to be at 70! Now 71! Granted, about half of those posts are my own, but it goes to show that people are interested in interacting with us on a more casual level. I feel getting in touch with the fans on a personal level is important. Thank the maker I have the internet to help me do that!

B) Can we get this thing to 100 posts? Do not ask me such questions. I am an artist! I am not concerned with quantity, but with quality! Life cannot simply be broken down in to numbers so that the bean-counters can stick us in a spread sheet and then snuggle up to their abacuses...abaci...abacusi...count-y things at night. No! Mere numbers will not dictate the course of my life! I will not go silently into that good night! I will not live inside your boxes! Death to the taxman!

And hell yes we can.

C) What you must remember about God is that when he set out to create the world, he had to maintain balance. I say "maintain" because God did not create balance. To be in balance is the natural state of things in the universe. To this end, God made turkeys immensely stupid to balance the fact that they are easy to shoot, and a relatively healthy supply of protein, and a perfect compliment to mashed potatoes, gravy and cranberry sauce.

So what you are suggesting, Jennifer, is that Turkeys are merely stupid to properly balance the scale of the world known as our ecosystem?

What does that mean for stupid humans?

That they better watch out during the holidays.

JUST KIDDING!

No, you see, turkeys are just smart enough to maintain the balance in nature as is specific to them, i.e.: eating what they are supposed to eat, excreting what they are supposed to excrete, and being a holiday tradition. One turkey does not vary much from another turkey. So the turkey balance is maintained by all of turkey-dom.
People, on the other hand, are much smarter than turkeys [usually], and can vary greatly from each other. Over the years, humankind has produced some absolutely brilliant individuals that have made great contributions to the cause of enlightening the entire human population. Then stupid people come along and twist those great ideas to their own, individual, greedy purposes. Then other stupid people who weren't as bright as the original stupid people start copying the methods of the original stupid people. The whole thing starts to snowball and eventually people who aren't stupid are forced to act stupid just so they can make a living. The people who aren't stupid and refuse to act stupid either get wiped out by the stupid people, or create little islands of un-stupid in which only a few may be lucky enough to survive for a short time before they are swept back up into the colossal flood of stupid. Sometimes stupid people are mistaken for un-stupid people, and they get other un-stupid people to follow them, those unstupid people thinking they're doing something un-stupid. But it turns out that unstupid people sometimes just aren't all that bright, and they end up creating more stupid.
We here at Break A Leg are dedicated to fighting stupid wherever we find it. And if we can't fight it, then we'll stand around and laugh at it scornfully and vehemently until it feels stupid for being so stupid.

Wow...

Do you have a lot of time on your hands?

Only when nobody's looking.

Mr. Bradley! I'd just like to say that your artistic artistry has reached the far off village of Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Brav-ho. ... Say that one out loud, it sounds better than it looks.

Out of curiosity, apples or oranges?

Hello, Canada! Nice to have you with us, eh?

Apples for the pie. Oranges for the juice. But if we are talking of the fruit themselves in their natural state without modification or processing: apples.

Hmm, while we're doing multiple choice...

1. Coke or Pepsi?
2. Mac or Windows?
3. Pizza or Lasagna?
4. 1 or 2?
5. Rap or Rock?
6. Enter or Return?
7. Blu-Ray or HD-DVD
8. Red or Blue
9. Movies or TV?
10. Heaven or Hell?

There!

1. Coke. Whoever heard of a Rum and Pepsi?
2. I don't care what people say: you can build a PC just as powerful as a MAC, and both of them have their problems. That said: PC
3. Pizza
4. 2, because one is the loneliest number
5. Rock me, Amadeus!
6. Return, because that means people wanted you to come back.
7. Whatever makes me look better
8. I need both of those crayons. Ice and fire. ICE AND FIRE!
9. Movies
10. I can't get the Heaven, they won't let me up till I bring 'em a pint of that Johnny Jump Up.

Riposte!

movies? but you're in a tv show!

by the way, we're up to 80 now.

Okay, here's another question.

Are the binary musings of our human race testament to our lack of intelligence?

I know, Kevin. Sweet, sweet irony.

Nick, that is a fantastic question. I have no answer for that, but an opinion. First you need to quantify "intelligence". Now, in our own society, we measure intelligence based on all the people in that society. So, my IQ is relative to everybody else that has subjected themselves to an IQ test. The ratio to people who actually take these tests compared to the people that exist on the planet is a relatively small number. Now, compare the number of human beings that exist on the planet to the number of other life forms that exist on the planet, and you will come up with an insurmountably huge ratio. Multiply that by the number of habitable planets there are in our galaxy, then multiply that by the number of galaxies in the universe, and you will find that what we consider as the quantity of "intelligent" is depressingly low. Now, take that number and chuck it out the window into the path of an on-coming bus. Because for us, here, now, it means diddly. All you can really do is read what is posted (anywhere, not just here) and decide for yourself what is worth investing yourself in. Notice: I do not say what is worth remembering and what is worth forgetting, because EVERYTHING is worth remembering, especially the parts where things go wrong, because those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it, as a great man once said. I don't remember who that was.

To sum up: intelligence is subjective, and we get along the best we can.

Jen,

Why are you so awesome?

I ask the same question as Yuri, haha.

Well, shucks, guys, what can I say? I'm touched. I guess, if I have have to answer this question, I would say that my awesomeness comes from being unafriad to fail. Which is good, because I do that a lot. I guess that's not really being unafraid...more of a desensitization; sorta Pavlovian. Also, I make big gestures and have a lot of differnt hats. Oh, and I can make fart noises with my hands. That's all pretty awesome. Oh yeah, and I'm a man named Jennifer.

Jennifer, what's your favourite word?

Thousands of words in the english language and you want me to pick just one? Oh man, this is like going to a Chinese buffet and only being allowed to eat one egg roll. Well, it took some thinking and some soul searching and a quick look in the dictionary and my asnwer would have to be: indefatigable.

Hey, Jennifer! What's indefatigable?

in·de·fat·i·ga·ble [in-di-fat-i-guh-buhl]
–adjective
incapable of being tired out; not yielding to fatigue; untiring.

Wow...that's a pretty amazing word. I like the word wallop. I learned it like 2 days ago.

Yeah, wallop is a good one. Don't get me wrong, I think there are lots of awesome words out there, like bees or multivehicular or skirth, but I kinda got pigeon-holed on that one and, well, ya gotta roll with the punches.

I thought Hannah was your favorite word!

i like nunnery.

hey jen, what kind of music do you enjoy listening to?

I like ska, swing, jazz...anything with a good horn section; I enjoy farcical things like Weird Al and Richard Cheese; I like punk, punk Irish, Irish folk: bands like Flogging Molly, Dropkick Murphys, Amadan, Ceann, The Cheiftans; a lot of 70's rock, 80's pop, and 90's alternative. Boy bands and pop deva can go, as well as self-glorifying rap. You can keep country. Never really cared for death metal or sick stuff like ICP.

This list is by no mean comprehensive, but it should give you some idea.

Jennifer, is David truly a beet eater, or is that just his cover for the conspiracy?

Oh, David eats beets. There's no two ways about it. This kid is a beet-a-pheliac. David goes through beets like...like things that really like beets. I mean sometimes we have to wrestle him to the ground. The kids wirey, I'll give him that. Yeah, you don't want to come inbetween him and his beets.

Jennifer,

If you could meet any person in history, who would it be?

(Vain attempt to get conversation going on this board)

That's a toughy, Nick...there are a lot of people I'd love to meet, chat with, get tips from, maybe a few references...but I'd have to say that I'd really like to meet William Shakespeare, and ask him if he really wrote all that stuff.

Jennifer,

Do you think the 100th post will cause destruction and doom to the entire world?