Break a Leg

Dear Network TV,

Okay. We think we're ready. We've shot three episodes, we've gotten better, no one has been impaled by a boom pole or an errant light -- we're doing okay. We think we're ready to be on TV now.

Don't get me wrong -- we like the Internet. It's fun, it gives us a chance to talk to you, the fans directly, and there's no limitations, no one telling us what to do. We like it.

But we also like TV.

Okay, okay, let's compromise. Let's put Break a Leg on TV and then put minisodes on the Internet. We've got loads of ideas -- we can develop a whole world using the Net. Hell, we can make Groommates for the Internet. The point is, it'll be new and hip -- and everyone will say, "Gee, Fox/NBC/CBS/TBS/Comedy Central/Cooking Channel, you sure are hip -- you picked up an internet sitcom and are creating a whole world for the show on the internet, how new and exciting and different!"

So, there's that. There's everyone thinking you're outrageously cool.

There's also that we're pretty funny. And just think -- if we make Break a Leg with no money, what we can make with SOME money. Seriously, any money. We just want to be able to cover boom pole-related injuries.

So, again, we're ready. Our actors, our crew -- we feel we've gone through the proper development. We've worked 12 hour days, we've fought horrible conditions and we've risked our lives (well, maybe) for shoots. We're ready to bring this kind of commitment to a network. Any network. I'm pretty sure Francesca Scala and Amber Turnipseed can make a killer pie.

My email is Yuri@breakaleg.tv and my brother's email is Vlad@breakaleg.tv -- now you have no excuse, you can just click it and say hi.

Hell, let me make it easier for you, just copy and paste this into the body of the email:

"Dear Break a Leg,

My name is ___________ and I am the Senior VP of ____________. We've been watching you for _____ and think you're ready for primetime. We are offering you $_______________________________________ to create new episodes of Break a Leg on our channel, channel __. We'd also like to add that you're all surprisingly attractive and by hiring you, we realize how ridiculously cool we'd look to the outside world.

Thank you for taking this time and reading our email. We look forward to producing your show soon.

Love,

__________________

VP of _________

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See? Now you've not only picked up a great show, you've also saved some precious time. We live to please.

Love,
Yuri Baranovsky
Employee of _________