Break a Leg

So everyone by now knows my story and (by extension, and analogy, and just plain same-ness) the story of almost everyone else associated with Break A Leg. I work, I go home, I work, I go home; and every once in a while Yuri calls me up, begging me to take acting classes so he can try and use me to play more than just a drunk version of myself. Drunk.

I'm extremely happy with this arrangement: it Just Makes Sense, as the Romans would say. Why try and fix something that ain't broke, right? It Just Works, that's my motto, or at least it has been since I started writing this paragraph. Or at least that last sentence.

Then something dawned on me, a realization. Not that I had been responsible for canceling Battlestar: Galactica, that was last week. No, this realization was more important, more primal. It penetrated me to the very core of my being, my soul wept at its beauty and simplicity.

That realization, my dear readers, came in the form of an iPhone application called iFart. You press a button, and your phone farts.

Why, you may ask, would you want to do such a thing? I don't, not really. I haven't even seen the damn thing. But that push-button phone-farting application has earned its "developer" $73,000 as of Christmas Day of 2008, the last day for which I could find sales data. If that kind of realization doesn't make your soul weep then you don't have a soul, which in the case of iFart is probably for the better.

Let's take a step back and have a BSG break. See this photo?

Is this a sneaky shot from the set, something someone grabbed with their camera-phone before being forcibly ejected from the studio? Perhaps it's an uberfan-made jerk-off console, or PC case mode? No kids, this photo is in fact of the inside of  a San Francisco Municipal Railway Metro car.

That's right folks, our subway cars are Cylon-ready. I ride Battlestar: L-Taraval to and from work every single weekday. I know you love and hate me for it in equal parts, it's okay, I understand.

Back to iFart. So I decided "Fuck it" (I probably decide that about one thing or another at least 12 times every day), I'm getting in on this action. It's going to take some work, some dedication, and a Really Stupid Idea, but I WILL develop an iPhone application that will free me from the bonds of my day-to-day existence. 

First step: I need to learn how to program. 

I'll keep you posted on my progress, maybe even solicit suggestions from the audience as to what you'd like to see. Maybe we can even do a Break A Leg application and charge you all through the nose for it?

What's the stupidest application any of you have bought for your iPhone/Blackberry/WinMo device? Can I make a copy of it and get you to buy it again?