Break a Leg

I've had a Twitter account for quite a long time, but it's only recently that --

Let me back up.

I used to think that Twitter was stupid. I guess I probably still think that Twitter is stupid, but now I use and refer to it everyday.

I've had a Twitter account for quite a long time, and followed a handful of people who also followed me back. I rarely updated, I rarely referred to the site to see what they had written. It was all just a big joke, really.

Then one day one of the people I was following (Twits?) mentioned that Rainn Wilson had a brand-new account (his first Tweet (seriously?) was on January 27), and that got me curious. I started following Rainn Wilson, and thanks to the brilliance of Twitter I perused Rainn's Following list and started following Stephen Fry, David Lynch, and Tina Fey. I skipped Jimmy Fallon for obvious reasons.

Now this isn't some exclusive club, anyone can follow these people and read whatever the hell stream-of-unconsciousness nincompoopery they decide to cram into 140 characters or less. What struck me immediately though was how all of the people on this list use Twitter so very differently, and that is precisely what got me (and I imagine everyone else) hooked.

Take David Lynch for instance. He uses Twitter for about 3 things: a daily weather report, a notice that the video daily weather report is available on his site, and a thought of the day. Yes, this is that David Lynch. 

Rainn Wilson uses Twitter much the average person would, which is what make his Tweets (I'm getting tired of this terminology) all the more riveting. "What? You love Trader Joe's too? We're practically lovers!"

Tina Fey, who also started fairly recently, predictably uses her account for mostly funnies. In going back through her history though I found an inordinate number of poop jokes. I then realized some of the poop humor had actually, unmistakably, been written on the pooper itself. Genius!

Then there is the dark, evil side of Twitter. This is the side with the marketing guys, the professional social networkers, and the people who invite you to join their Facebook group so you can learn how to make $10,000 a day on Twitter. Holy smokes!

What happened within minutes, literally, of following Rainn, Tina, David, Stephen, etc., was a deluge of followers following me. None of the above unfortunately, it was seemingly just the Twitter Sith, the marketers and networkers trying to drive up their numbers by following me and hoping I would follow back. I fell for it for a day or two then quickly wised up.

I'm still on the Twitter Crack, I even have an iPhone app dedicated to it to make life easier. I just keep waiting for the day Rainn Wilson Direct Messages me and asks me over for a play-date with his child. And my child too of course, not just me. That would be a weird play-date.