Break a Leg

I normally write my columns Tuesday night, since that's the night the missus has her singing class. I put the young'n to bed after his supper, pour m'self a tall glass o' hooch, and fire up the ol' lappie for a night of drinkin' and bloggin'.

No such luck this week, she didn't go. We had a fine night of lava cake from Trader Joes (buy it, now! Just not from the Masonic store in SF, it's hard enough to keep in stock as it is. Don't forget the whipped cream!) and Dancing With The Stars.

Shut up.

Anyhoo, now it's Wednesday night and I'm up against it and looking for a topic to write on. Believe it or not, I searched for "blog topics" in my trusty Google bar and wouldn't you know it? First result! Go ahead and try it now. Oops, sorry, second result. Whatever, the point is, that second result gave me twenty blog post topics to choose from and I am now going to use them all. Ready?

1. Instructional: Search "blog topics" in Google. Write a blog from a topic in the second result. ???. Profit.
2. Informational: Trader Joes sells a great dessert called Lava Cake. The store on Masonic in San Francisco is sometimes out.
3. Reviews: Lava Cake is awesome. Bonus Review! Lava Cake with whipped cream is more awesome.
4. Lists: Drew Lanning's Latest 20 Blog Topics
5. Interviews: Drew, "Who's your favorite singer right now?" Sina, "I don't know... I like that Kristy Lee, can't keep her down."
6. Case Studies: American Idol - they changed the formula this year by letting contestants play instruments. It's been a big hit, showcasing several seasoned musicians that have more than just a big voice.
7. Profiles: Drew Lanning frequently waits until the last minute to complete his assignments, either professional or personal, and as such cannot be recommended as a good role model.
8. Link Posts: Check out this great post. There are so many reasons why I like it that I feel like my head is going to explode.
9. 'Problem' Posts: The problem with the post-strike return episode of Desperate Housewives is that it sucked. The writing was rushed, the acting was phoned in, and the characterizations were ridiculous.
   
10. Contrasting Two Options: On Friday nights at 10 you can watch Battlestar Galactica or The Soup. Thanks to DVR, I do both.
11. Rant: Randy Jackson is such a loser. Every critique he gives goes like this. "It started off OK, you had some pitch problems in the middle there, and the ending was just ah-ight for me, dog. It was OK for me, it was just OK."
12. Inspirational: I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had moved to Hollywood in my early twenties. I may or may not have made it as an actor, but I know for a fact that I would not have my wife or son. I'm glad I stayed in San Francisco.
13. Research: Population of Uzbekistan? 26,593,000.
14. Collation: Population of Uzbekistan? 26,593,000.
15. Prediction and Review: The prior episode of Break A Leg was great. The next episode will be amazingly great. I know, I've read it. Once.
16. Critique: The first episode of Break A Leg sucked, because Jimmy Scotch wasn't in it.
17. Debate: Vote for John McCain and you get another Republican in the White House. Then again, voting against him may land Hillary in the Oval Office. Tough choice.
18. Hypothetical: What if... Break A Leg is picked up by a network, cable or otherwise? I would probably shit my pants, just literally, really. Pbbbbbbfbfbbffftftfsht.
19. Satirical: If there's a beet famine, Yuri should eat his brother.
20. Memes and Projects: Digg this column.