Break a Leg

Okay, I have no idea if the Break a Leg guys will comply to this, because I didn't ask them or anything, but...
Post requests here.
Ask them to cheer you up with a witty comment after you were up all night coughing up blood.
If mobsters are after you, and you need a video of Yuri doing a funny dance, or else they'll kill you- this is the place to ask.
Whatever.
Requests.
If they don't comply, I will.
...Maybe.

someone tell me a joke. NOW.

I was up all night coughing up blood.
Cheer me up with a witty comment.
=]

Unless you guys hate this thread, in which case, delete it.

Joke:
Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two. The question is: how do they get in there?

Wanna hear a dirty joke? Little Timmy fell in the mud...

Wanna hear a clean joke? Little Timmy took a bath with bubbles.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door...hahaha!

Witty comment, witty comment, let me think.

Here's a joke.

Two ropes are walking through the desert. They're practically dying of thirst. They see a bar in the distance and go to it. There's a sign out front that reads, "No ropes allowed." Thirsty, they try anyway. Can we get a drink? They ask. You're ropes, aren't you? says the bartender and immediately kicks them out.

Frustrated, one of them ties himself into a knot and walks in. Can I get a drink, he asks? You're just that same rope, tied in a knot, replies the bartender -- immediately kicking him out.

The second rope has a better idea. He ties himself into a knot AND frays his edges. He walks into the bar and says, "Can I get a drink?" "Hey, aren't you that same rope?" asks the bartender. The rope shakes its... head.. and replies, "Nope. I'm a frayed knot."

See? I'm a writer.

Oh, and cheer up, Hannah. Throwing up your own blood can get worse. You can be throwing up someone else's.

My son threw up every twenty minutes last night, from around 8p until 2a. He slept a grand total of around 7 hours between last night's five puke-free hours and today's XXXL nap. He normally sleeps 12-13 hours total per day, and normally pukes zero times.

Did that cheer anyone up?

break a leg: ahahahah!

jimmy: :(

That joke is AMAZING.
I didn't get it until like, three times after I read it.
And then I looked up "frayed knot" to see if it was, like, slang or a reference or something.
And then I muttered it to myself and bursted out laughing.

Jimmy.
That sucks. That really really sucks.
=[

My blog posting about it makes it a little more a funny joke, as opposed to the one that originally posted here. You know, the not-funny kind?

Remember, the son in question is actually a member of the cast!

I guess my URL would be helpful.

vomit humor

Woah.
We don't just care because he's a cast member.
At least I don't.
I hope he feels better soon.

In response to the light bulb joke:

Q: How many writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You're not changing MY light bulb.

Please don't Wikipedia it, it's not that deep.

Q. How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One actor, 12 assistants, 72 takes.

Don't forget Craft Services!

How many boards would the mongols hoard if the mongol hordes got bored?

OH MY GOD YURI THAT IS MY FAVORITE JOKE EVER, YOU KNOW IT! Yuri used to tell me that joke in college and everytime I hear it I laugh, never gets old.

Um...

Fart!

..................touche Dashiell

Q: How many Canadians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Ehhh?-t

This isn't so much a request as it is a statement of fact: I look quite a bit like Yuri, except not as pretty. Also, I'm a girl. But other than that - twinsies.

You can be my stunt double.

Which brings up the point that we need more stunts.

I don't know about stunts, but if the script ever calls for a female evil twin, I'm in.