As I (I, being Yuri) sit here in my bedroom after successfully defeating two mosquitos in deadly, blood-sucking tendril-to-vacuum battle, I wonder why I'm having trouble writing.

I'll be honest and say that Episode 4 should've been done two weeks ago. I'll be even more honest and say that it's not done yet. It's okay, since we can't shoot at our alloted location for another couple of weeks, but boy-oh-boy, is it frustrating. 

See, Episode 4 is my episode. Vlad and I wrote Episode 1, I wrote Episode 2 and he wrote Episode 3. So now, it's my turn, and I have suddenly discovered I'm not funny. All of a sudden, witty retorts are neither witty nor retorts but just normal, reactionary life-like lines.

In other words, I'm officially boring. And the ladies love it.

I've considered doing several things.

-I've considered doing a Charlie Kaufman and writing myself and my writer's block into the script. Except I'm not Charlie Kaufman and I'm practically already in the script.

-I've considered giving the episode to Vlad who is, at least, as far as I know, at full funny gear. But I'm too stubborn.

-I've also considered just getting famous now and having Hollywood writing gnomes finish it. But I'm not famous. And I can't afford gnomes yet.

By the way, when you get famous, you get Hollywood writing gnomes.

Why can I write creatively in a blog but not in a script, you ask? I have no idea, I answer.

So, I sit here, re-reading what I wrote tonight and, okay, admittedly, I had an okay day today, writing-wise. There was some witty. Someone calls Chase a bear -- that's always good for a laugh. But, when I'm really flowing, when it's really going, I can finish a script in a day.

It's been much longer than a day, though. Maybe I should just kill all the characters and become a welder. Wouldn't that be something? Wouldn't it be a great thing to tell people at parties? "What do you do?" "I'm studying law. You?" "I'm a welder." "What do you weld?" "Other welders." Wouldn't it be even more interesting if you welded other welders together from pieces of metal?

Okay. It's getting to that point where you jokingly say to your friends, "It's getting late, or should I say -- early?! Ha!" Then you laugh like that, "Ha!" And everyone laughs with you but, how many people have made that joke? Come on.

So, I should retire. Maybe, just maybe, tommorrow is the day I finish up the rough draft of the script. Either that, or I weld myself a boat and sail to Mexico.

Either way, wish me luck.

-Yuri

P.S. Thank you and hello to all the new blog subscribers. We made a crazy jump from 80 to 210 in a week, and it's nice to know we have people reading what we write at 4:19 in the morning. The rest of you who haven't yet -- go on and subscribe, myself and other cast members will try to update and write in here regularly.

Okay. Seriously.

Bed.

Good morning.