Happy Jenday, everyone.
Well, as of tomorrow I will have completed my 31st orbit of the sun. And I feel...not excited. As a kid birthdays were the best thing ever: one day just for you. The anticipation started weeks before the actual day. "Only 3 more weeks before my birthday!" This year I had completely forgotten about it until Monday. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that as children we weren't allowed to do as much and parties were few and far between. It was a treat just to get together with friends in the park and have cake. Now, I hang out with my friends all the time and we always have fun. So it's more of the same. Not that that's bad, it's just nothing new.
Maybe it's time to change my outlook on things. Lately, my idea of a good time has been to do very little. This is because I feel like I've been doing so much. I work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and then I generally have rehearsal or a show or a shoot or...something to do. So doing nothing suddenly becomes novel. But after a while the novelty wears off and I'm left thinking, "I need to do something amazing." Which requires planning and coroboration and a lot more effort than it takes to walk down to the liquor store, get a twelve pack, call one person who is sure to tell everybody else, and then sit back and let the events happen around me as they generally want to. And yes, that's a pretty lethargic way to think. Also, getting this close to the day, any grand ideas will have to be spontaneous, which while the possibilities of improvized courses of action are pretty spectacular, often not everybody enjoys themselves or can even participate. Because that's all I really want: to be surrounded by the people I love. And not just on my birthday. Pretty much in general and all the time.
Which leads to the bigger question: What do I want out of life? And the answer? Well, generally a bacon cheese burger and a couple beers do the trick. Think bigger, man! Fame, fortune, glory, financial independence, women, cars, castles, pirate vessels, SUCCESS??? Well, sure. Do you have any spare just laying around? No? But can I have a bacon cheese burger? Yes? Hmm. Ok, yes, you have to work for those things. And in my way I do. Or at least, I work, and hope something resembling those things will come along eventually. But am I working at the right stuff? They say if you want to make it in tv or movies you have to live in L.A. HELL no. I will not live in that cess pit and TRY to make it as an actor. I'm not really keen on packing up all my stuff and heading to New York to try and start over there. I like it here. My home is here. My friends are here. My cheese burger is here. Right now I have relationships with several local theater groups where I rarely even have to audition for a part. I think the last time I actually went to an audition was about a year ago and, as Yuri will attest, I am always busy with shows. Maybe that's being a big fish is a small pond, but know what? I'm kinda ok with that. And when I'm not busy, I like to spend my time playing World of Warcraft or Yohoho Puzzle Pirates. And I'm content.
Could my life be more? Sure. Do I need it to be? No. So why am I trying to defend the choices I've made? Because maybe somewhere I think it should be more. But then everybody shows up with beer and what status my life is in isn't so important. It'll still be there in the morning, and I'll still be...well, working, doing, moving. I guess the really important part is just not to stagnate. No, wait...that is important, but it's not the most important. It's being able to enjoy the people you love. Because really, no matter how successful you are, they will still be those people.
And a bacon cheeseburger is a bacon cheeseburger.
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Editor's Note: Happy Birthday, Chad!
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Jennifer's Note: Party at my house!