Break a Leg - The Online Sitcom - Break a Leg - The Sitcom

First of all, I have to give Flynn full credit for not being late today. He wasn't supposed to be shooting, but he still gets kudos since that may be the only way he can actually not be late to a shoot. Flynn, I love you baby, you know that right?

Justin, Yuri, and Dashiell were however about 30 minutes late. They made up for it with coffee and doughnuts so I can't get too worked up about it. I think that may be the only time in the couple years of working with them that they've fed me something non-kosher.

Justin is functionally incapable of being a parent in his current state of maturity. I don't fault him for that, it's just an observation. He picked up a large stick and said to my son "Ronin, look!", then repeatedly bashed Dashiell in the shin. He did however neglect to accidentally record over any footage today, so he's still my favoritest director ever!

I'm still unclear if the brambles and bushes I was standing in were poison oak or blackberry bushes, like Justin said. We'll find out soon enough since I put some leaves into my mouth and licked a tree. That may not even make it into the final cut; hell, that may not actually have even been shot. I just do that all the time anyway.

The best part about working with this crew is the attention to detail and dedication to "getting it right" at all costs. For instance, on this morning's shoot they once again forgot the bow tie.

That, kids, was a counter-example offered in the name of humor and irony.

Alright, on to the real topic of this post: child-rearing! I've gained some valuable insights in the almost two years that I've been a parent, and wanted to share that with a wider audience. Here are a handful of my best gems:

Cheerios are fine as a snack when your child starts to eat solid foods, but are not a requirement. Blaze your own trail: Sweet Tarts are the same size as a Cheerio and give him or her extra pep in the morning.
Introduce chewing gum as soon as you see the little miracle’s first tooth. It will give the jaw muscles a workout and stimulate the gums!
Most airlines let you fly with your baby in your lap for no extra charge. If it’s safe enough to do on an airplane at 20,000 feet, why not in a car on the ground?
A closet with an overhead light makes a great last-minute playpen. Just don’t forget to close the door all way! Turn off the light, too, to teach them the value of conservation.
Reading is a wonderful habit, but early in development may stifle imagination and creativity. Consider banning books in the household until the age of 12. Bonus points for banning language altogether, though that may prove impractical.
When I see something scary my instinct is to close my eyes. Use that instinct to your advantage: try mounting a scary mask or picture above your child’s crib to curb those late-night wake ups!
Walkers are very unsafe because of the risk of your child walking right off of the top of a flight of stairs. Put a pillow at the bottom step in case this happens.

Any more tips? Leave them in the comments. I’ll incorporate the best into the next advice column. I'll also discuss my experience being on a real live TV game show!